Today's Gospel is sooooo hard! Today Jesus is talking about marriage, but more than that, he is talking about divorce.
The Pharisees approach Jesus and ask "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?"
Have you have been divorced? Have you watched some one you loved dearly go through a divorce? Have you seriously thought about divorce?
I have not been divorced, however, I have seen people I love go through the agonizing pain of divorce. I have also watched people I love make the decision not to divorce and watched the challenges and struggles they had to go through each and every day. Some of those marriages turned out rock solid and better than any I have seen, others never got better and I continue to watch such pain and suffering.
I believe in the church teachings on marriage and I believe and trust scripture in the matter. Jesus tells us that from the beginning "The Creator 'made them male and female' and said 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, the two shall become one flesh.? So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."
Jesus is telling us what God intended marriage to be from the very beginning of creation. He then talks about the law of Moses "The why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss [her]?"
God never intended divorce, but Moses gives us a way out. God knew our hearts would become "hard." He knew we were going to be a sinful people! Although I don't advocate divorce, there are some circumstances when it is necessary. I am not going to attempt to play judge and jury on this. This is completely between the couple and God, but I understand that this issue is not cut and dry.
The part I really struggle with is the last section. That if man divorces his wife (unless it was an unlawful marriage), and remarries, it is adultery. I struggle because some of the second marriages I have seen are the marriages that I believe God intended in the first place. I believe that in some of these cases God truly made beauty from the ashes.
I have had several rocky moments in my marriage, and I can't say that terrible scenarios have never run through my mind. I have never been abused or cheated on, and I have no idea what I would do if that was the case. In the case of abuse, that is an out to me, that is one that I won't hesitate to give opinion on. In the case of cheating....man, this is so hard! I want to say I would be willing to stay in my marriage and try to work through it. Some of the most solid couples I have met or known went through this, but I just don't know that I am strong enough. Well, I know I'm not strong enough on my own, I guess I don't know if my faith is big enough! I don't know that I could have the forgiving heart we are called to. I don't know that I could ever truly get past something like that.
Regardless, marriage is sacred. Marriage is hard. Marriage was intended from the beginning to be forever. We can't just run when we hit bumps in the road. We can't just look for a loophole or be searching for something or someone "better" to come along. When we enter into marriage we make a choice. Regardless of your thoughts of that choice now, you made it. Each and every decision we make has consequences (some good, some not so good). We must work to make the best of the ones that may not have been as good!
We must love our neighbor's! We are not the judge. When we know of a struggling marriage, we must pray and show love, mercy and compassion. We don't know all the complexities of the situation and it is not our place to! Our place is to pray and love.
When we are struggling, we must pray! We must pray to God for strength, we must pray double time for our spouse. We must seek wise and loving council. We must not make hasty decisions or worldly decisions!
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